Maybe I’ll Call Ya Later…If I Feel Like It
“The person you marry will be the biggest investment you ever make.”
-Mr. Krznarich
Mr. Krznarich was my 10th grade U.S. History and 11th grade Sociology teacher, and he was always dropping knowledge bombs on us, giving us harsh doses of reality on a daily basis. My friends and I imitated Mr. Krznarich relentlessly behind his back, which was basically the greatest sign of respect a person could get from my goofy group of high school buddies. Like a lot of guys, we picked at each other constantly and only made fun of the people we really loved. One time a few of my friends and I were playing video games in my bedroom and just hanging out. My sister, Kristin, who was in her bedroom next door, came in and exclaimed, “Are you guys even friends? You are SO mean to each other.” We all just gave Kristin a puzzled look. She was just listening to our typical, everyday banter, so we didn’t see that it was any big deal. I know it sounds weird, but this is how young men have been interacting with each other for centuries. I read that it comes from more tribal times, when men were constantly testing each other in order to feel out if someone could be relied upon in battle. It also serves to keep anyone from getting too full of himself or letting his ego run amok. My friends and I would have done anything for each other. Our reliability to be there for the next guy was well-tested.
Anyway, Mr. Krznarich told us the opening quote at least 20 times during the two years spent in his classroom. Like many things when I was 16, it didn’t really register or seem to be that consequential at the time. It turns out, he was 100 percent spot on. I could write books about how lucky I got to find my wife, Cali, but for the purposes of this post, I’m going to stick to my relationship from a training perspective. I’ve met a lot of couples over the years who are not at all on the same page when it comes to fitness, working out, and living a healthy lifestyle. Cali and I have never had that problem. In fact, we met at the LA Fitness on Dysart Road in Avondale, Arizona. For months, I had seen this beautiful, tall, and sweet-looking woman diligently working out and keeping to herself. One day, on the way out, she ended up walking behind me and I held the door for her, receiving a thank you and a smile in the process. It took a while, but I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out one day. My buddy Kevin and I were playing through our usual seven or so games of racquetball on a Monday afternoon, and Cali was using the lat pulldown right by the courts. Kevin and I were on break and about to go back in for another game.
“I’m going to ask this girl out right here,” I said to Kevin.
Kevin looked at me, said, “Hell yeah,” and walked back into the court, closing the door behind him.
Well now I had to do it. I couldn’t go back in there with my tail between my legs and face Kevin after totally punking out. Keep in mind, my outfit at the time consisted of some short mesh Nike shorts, white racquetball shoes, a ratty cut-off t-shirt that I got when I joined my college gym seven years earlier, and a pair of racquetball goggles sitting on top of my head. I walked up to Cali and said, “Hi. I don’t want to be the guy who’s bothering women at the gym, but I’ve seen you in here a lot and would really like to take you out some time.” Much to my relief, Cali smiled and was her usual sweet self. We exchanged phone numbers, went out the following weekend, and the rest is history. Now, when I met my wife, I was making a living as a teacher. Every school year, it seemed like a student would inevitably ask how Cali and I met. Never one to miss an opportunity to have some fun with my students, I would always give some version of the following story…
“Well, one day I was at the gym, and I was in between sets of benching 500 pounds for reps. I saw Cali over in the corner working out and thought she was kind of cute, so I walked over and said, ‘Hey Toots, gimme your number and maybe I’ll call ya later…if I feel like it’”
Marrying Cali was easily one of the best decisions, and investments, I’ve ever made for a number of reasons, and training is certainly one of them. Cali has always understood the importance of training in my life, and she lives the code herself every single day. She understands why I’ll get up at 0345 if it’s the only time I have to train on a certain day, or why I can be grumpy if it was a long day at work and I haven’t gotten my workout in yet. Cali and I now have kettlebells at all of the places we go to visit family members. We just had them shipped to each spot and then use them when we’re in town. I know that may sound insane to some, but to us it means not having to find a gym or miss a workout. And yeah, we could always find a way to just do bodyweight stuff or run some sprints (and we do both of things), but kettlebells are tremendously awesome so it just makes our training sessions on the road that much better.
We have an awesome gym in our house that we’ve been building, modifying, and tweaking since 2011. Cali loves having great equipment as much as I do and is never hard to convince when it comes to making a gym purchase. Hell, she didn’t even get mad when one night, after a few adult beverages, I ordered a full competition bumper set, change plates, and weightlifting bar from Rogue. The set is beautiful, expensive, and way over the top for our training needs, but we’ve gotten use out of it so what the hell. One of my good friends and training partners has a wife who isn’t into training. The guy has a very modest home gym set up. I’m talking a few kettlebells and maybe an ab wheel, and he has had to beg and plead for every bit of that. His wife, who is a great woman by the way, just doesn’t see the value in training. She must not fully understand what it does for mental and physical health or how it will allow her husband to become an even better version of himself. I recently gave my friend an olympic bar and a bunch of plates that I had out in the garage. I hadn’t used them in years and was happy to give them to someone who would get some use out of them. Plus I just hate seeing someone with the passion and desire that my buddy has not be able to train how he or she desires.
Cali and I have bought and sold literally tons of equipment over the years. When we moved from South Carolina to Pennsylvania, we went from a big two-car garage down to a small one-car (we eventually converted our basement into a gym too). When we got up here to PA, we gave our big tire, Atlas stones, and battling rope to a local CrossFit gym and our punching bag to a youth center. I’m sure I could have sold some of this on Craigslist, but it feels good to give people something that I know can help them get stronger and healthier. Going through the process of turning over so much equipment over the years, I’ve learned just how little stuff a person actually needs to train effectively. Our gym is fairly paired down now to a rack with a pull-up bar, some bars and plates, kettlebells, sandbags, and a Prowler. We also have an Assault Air Bike and a Concept 2 Rower. We still have more stuff than a person really needs, but we enjoy it all and use it regularly so we’re happy with it.
As I type this blog, I can hear Cali downstairs doing kettlebell swings and getting after it. Cali gets it.