Get Tough

When I was in eighth grade, 1996-1997, we had enough kids go out for the basketball team that the school decided to split us into two teams so that more kids could participate and practice their skills. No, this wasn’t about giving out participation trophies or anything like that. The goal was to have a bigger, more experienced pool of players to draw from when we started high school the following year.

I was placed on the Blue team, which meant my coaches were Mike Maule and Dante Mendina. Mike was a local businessman who had coached Little League baseball and other youth sports for years while Dante was the dad of my best buddy, Tony. Mike and Dante were both incredibly good to us kids, and I always wanted to play hard and make them proud.

There were some good victories and hilarious moments during that season, but one of the funniest things happened at the Pizza Hut party Mike and Dante had for us after we got knocked out of the playoffs. When we were ordering pizza, our teammate Jim let it slip that he wanted a plain cheese pizza. Well, this idea was appalling to a rugged guy like Mike, who half-jokingly exclaimed loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear, “Get tough! Order sausage!” My teammates and I all burst into laughter and knew that we had a quote that we would use on each other for years to come. Here we are at the end of 2020, and I could still text that line to my friends and it would elicit a laugh and probably a few other good Mike quotes from that season.

In today’s world, some may call this toxic masculinity, but I am grateful that I had some really strong male role models in my life during my formidable adolescent years. Now, I’m not saying that I’m some sort of tough guy or that a good measure of one’s manhood or worth is whether or not you order sausage pizza. I’m saying that it was good for me to be surrounded by friends and coaches who always drove me to be a little bit tougher. Being a part of a group or team meant I had other people counting on me, and sometimes I had to do things I didn’t necessarily feel like doing at the time. It didn’t matter if I felt a little sick or didn’t feel like practicing or didn’t want to brave the cold during football season. I had to answer the bell, be there for my teammates and coaches, and, in short, get tough.

Perhaps this is why I’m so fascinated with the history of the American West frontier. You know what I’m talking about…cowboys, Native Americans, mountain men, horses, buffalo, cattle, boom towns, gold rushes, saloons, whiskey, whores, Manifest Destiny, and the list goes on. One of the reasons I’m so captivated by this bit of history is the toughness of the people. Hardship was the norm, and there were no expectations for comfort, safety, or easy living.

People thought nothing of traveling long distances on foot or horseback.

Got shot? Guess I’ll get a limb amputated and carry on.

Spouse took off on some adventure into the unknown? Hope he or she isn’t dead and makes it back here at some point.

Even with the craziness of 2020, for many, myself included, life is way too easy. People don’t expect to ever have to endure any kind of pain or discomfort. There is a pill for everything and plenty of excuses for our own failings and shortcomings. This does not result in tough people.

Often times, pain, within reason, indicates growth and betterment, and the hard path is the one that will produce the most rewarding and lasting results. Rather than shying away from the discomfort of growth and improvement, we must embrace the feelings of uncertainty and savor the process of healing, learning, and/or expanding our talents. It may be something you’ve been putting off like starting to eat healthy or exercise more frequently. These can certainly be daunting tasks that yank you out of your comfort zone, but the long term effects will change you for the better. There will be times where you feel hungry or wake up sore or have to push through a mental barrier. It’s okay to not look forward to these times and be uncomfortable when you’re faced with the decision to press on toward your goal. Every time you choose the right path you will be getting better, stronger, and tougher.