Read a Book! Read a Book! Read a Mothaf!@#in’ Book!
I’ve pretty much been in love with books my entire life. My mom was an elementary teacher, and my dad will tell you that the scholarly bent of my two older sisters and me comes from my mom. My mom was always reading some kind of book, especially on long family road trips when she would have a bunch of novels (some of them undoubtedly by Danielle Steel) in her canvas Lands’ End tote bag that she kept by her feet in the front passenger seat of my dad’s ‘88 Suburban. As my dad drove across endless miles of the continental United States, my sisters and I would mimic my mom and often have our noses in a book. Sure, I played my Gameboy, Kristin made jewelry, and Stacy followed our route in my dad’s well-worn Rand McNally Road Atlas while calling out U-Hauls from different states, but reading was definitely the favorite pastime for everyone on a typical 800-mile day of driving. Stacy would tear through books at an alarming rate, so naturally my brain turned to competition mode as I tried to keep up with her.
One time we were on a family vacation to Washington, D.C., when Stacy started feeling bad enough that my parents took her to an urgent care place at a hospital (it turned out she had mono). My dad and I were just sitting outside on these benches killing time, and he bought me a paperback copy of “Jurassic Park” by Michael Crichton from the gift shop. This was kind of a big moment for me in life, because that was the first real adult book I ever read. Before that, it had been “Hardy Boys” and “Boxcar Children” and “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” and other kids fare. We spent a few days in D.C., taking the metro from our hotel down to see all the attractions in and around the capitol. I felt so grown-up riding the train around a big city while sitting there engrossed in my adult novel.
All through elementary school, we had the Pizza Hut Book-It promotion thing where we got coupons for personal pan pizzas if we read so many books. To be honest, I didn’t even care about the pizza. I cared about the big chart on the wall that showed how many books everyone in the class had read. Finishing a book and putting a check next to my name gave me great satisfaction. I guess you could say I was, what’s the word, a dork.
The first day of seventh grade found me in Mrs. Daley’s English class where we had a whole unit that centered around “The Outsiders” by S.E. Hinton. We had been assigned a chapter or two of reading the first week of the unit, but I remember sitting in my bedroom and finishing the entire book in one night. Mrs. Daley suggested I check out a few other books by Hinton, so I tore through “Rumble Fish” and “Tex” over the next week or so. There was just something so fun and peaceful and engrossing when it came to reading books. I began to make it a point to always have a book with me so that if I finished my class work or had a study hall, I could read a few pages to pass the time. This is a practice I’ve carried on to this day. In the back of my head, I’m always thinking about what happens if my car breaks down or I end up in a situation where I have to wait around several hours for something. At least I’ll have a book with me to productively pass the time.
Middle school was when I really got into reading John Grisham after receiving “The Client” as a Christmas present. Those Grisham books from the mid-90s had me convinced I wanted to be a lawyer, but that dream kind of fell by the wayside over the years. Back then, I just didn’t have a vision for what I could do in life. I figured I’d be a teacher in my small home town and that would be that. Oh well, it all worked out for the best.
High school English class had me reading all kinds of stuff that felt more like work than a favorite pastime. We slogged through “Beowulf” and “The Hobbit” and stuff by Homer and Shakespeare. I realize these are all timeless works, but it wasn’t what I wanted to be reading in my mid-teens. It was cool during senior year when Mrs. Myllyla gave us the option of picking what we wanted to read from a handful of books. She encouraged me to read “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens, and I obliged because 1) it looked interesting, and 2) I was madly in love with Mrs. Myllyla. That book got me on a whole classics kick, and I remember reading “David Copperfield” in the car on our family vacation to Myrtle Beach that spring. It was also during that stretch that I realized that just because something is considered a classic doesn’t mean it’s good. Or at least maybe it’s just not for me.
I also remember this one ridiculously smart girl in high school who was a reading machine. Not surprisingly, I always found her super attractive. She always had a big book with her, and I specifically remember her carrying around some classic Stephen King works like “It” and “The Tommyknockers.” At the time, I had no idea that Stephen King basically had a whole universe woven together through his many books and stories. I just figured he wrote horror stories for the masses. Well, 20+ years and 35 or so King books later, and I feel comfortable calling myself a true fan of his work.
Throughout college, I made it a point to always have a book going on the side of my regular school work. Classes would get busy and I’d have lots of homework and reading to do for school, but I knew there was value in reading for pleasure on my own. It became a great escape from the formal drudgery imposed by my professors. Some nights I would retreat to the secluded cubicles on the third floor of the library where I knew I could get 30 minutes of uninterrupted reading. It was pretty cozy sitting there in silence reading my book and watching the snow fly outside the north and east panoramic windows that surrounded that corner of the building.
Since college, I’ve tried to read a little bit of everything. One year at Christmas, I asked for a book about Jesus and a book about Sonny Barger, one of the early leaders of the Hells Angels. Both books were great, by the way. If you look at any of my annual book list blog entries, you’ll see that my reading genres are all over the map. I try to hit up every subject I can find, although I’m admittedly weak in certain areas like philosophy and fantasy. My typical practice is to have two books going at once, one on my Kindle and one hard copy book. Being able to jump between the two books is like changing TV channels. It can help keep things fresh and moving along. Some people don’t like using e-readers because they just love the feel of a real book. I totally get that, but for me, my Kindle is an amazing reading tool that lets me read before bed at night without needing to have a light on and disturbing my wife Cali. Kindles are also great for bringing several books on a trip without the bulk and space of actual books. Real books do provide a much better experience when things like maps and graphs are essential to the story, but e-readers still have a place in my reading toolbox.
There are many books that are tied to certain memories and time periods in my life. In the summer of 2006, I worked as a counselor for the Upward Bound Regional Math and Science program at Northern Michigan University in Marquette, Michigan. “I Escaped From Auschwitz” by Rudolf Vrba and “The Count of Monte Cristo” by Alexandre Dumas were my companions that summer. My buddy Ben, one of the other counselors, was equally obsessed with books, and I always enjoyed hearing about what he was reading. When I spent a semester in Germany in the spring of 2007, I tore through, among others, “The Jungle” by Upton Sinclair and “Cell” by Stephen King. Some of this reading was done in this cool little public park near downtown Bamberg, one of the coolest cities in the world. December 2019 found me on my way to Chattanooga, Tennessee, for two weeks of training for work. I had a painful tooth in need of a root canal that was scheduled to be fixed when I got back, but fortunately reading about the Bataan death march (“Tears in the Darkness” by Michael and Elizabeth Norman) kept me from feeling too sorry for myself. Fifteen years ago, I had to appear before a judge in Phoenix (Arizona) Municipal Court over a misdemeanor ticket I got for drinking in public outside of a “Brooks and Dunn” and “ZZ Top” concert. I sat there in the courtroom awaiting my turn and reading my current book, which happened to be, fittingly, “Crime and Punishment” by Fyodor Dostoevsky. I could give a million examples, but you get the point.
Books will always be a part of my life, and I hope my mind never deteriorates to the point where I can no longer immerse myself in a good book. If I can ever help with a book recommendation, or if you have a recommendation for me, please reach out. I’d love to hear from you.
Oh, and I know the title of this post is rude, but it’s from this hilarious rap video that I’ve watched a thousand times. It was first introduced to me by this real nerdy Navy buddy of mine. And I don’t call him nerdy as an insult. He knows he’s nerdy, and I have no doubt he would agree with that label. Not only does this song encourage the listener to read a book, but it offers other helpful life advice. Enjoy!