Camping with Friends 2023
I recently made a long drive back to Michigan to spend a weekend camping with friends. Much like two years ago, this was an amazing time filled with laughter and love. We ate, drank, told stories we’ve told a million times before, made fun of each other, admired kids and careers and dogs. This is a group of lifelong friends, and, as always, it will be too long before I get to see them all again.
Friday night meant rain and some dampness in the tent. Saturday night a raccoon unsuccessfully tried to get into our tent, so it took a shit and kicked it all over the back of the tent instead. Both brought laughter and running commentary from my friends and me.
We stayed just a few miles from a Lake Michigan beach. Saturday was pretty much the most beautiful weather imaginable, so we all headed to the lake to soak up the sun and play in the amazing waves. Maybe it’s something about the Great Lakes that always makes the beaches feel so laid back. There were dogs running around off the leash, people responsibly drinking beer from coolers they brought, kids playing everywhere. It was just beautiful.
Time marches on and we’re all getting older. Stay grateful for the memories and the friends who make them.
Jiu-Jitsu Thoughts
Today, Friday August 18, 2023, got off to a perfect start. I was fortunate enough to get to go train with the 0530 morning crew at the jiu-jitsu gym.
The morning crew is a special group of people. These are savages who wake up well before sunrise, drag their asses out of bed, and drive to a place where there is a very real chance of getting completely humbled, choked out, banged up, and even embarrassed. In the winter months, the gym and mats are cold, and it’s still dark out by the time training wraps up around 0645. Everything is just a little bit colder and harder, which just adds to the fun.
There is an unknown day, hopefully in the very distant future, where I will not be able to train jiu-jitsu any more. Father Time is undefeated, and that day lies in wait for us all.
That’s why I savor every opportunity I get to train with the morning crew. Imagine getting to start your day with a group of people who keep showing up for the sole purpose of trying to make themselves, and everyone around them, better. Not everyone gets to be surrounded by that kind of energy, fortitude, and comradery first thing in the morning. It’s a wonderful thing.
This picture is from August 25, 2023. We’re missing a few regulars, but this is a great crew.
August
When I was a kid, August was always a special month. Yes, it was still technically summer vacation, but my friends and I began the month of August knowing what was ahead.
The first Monday in August always meant the start of two weeks of two-a-day football practices. It would be hot and sweaty. The locker room would reek to high hell and everything was grass-stained. We lifted throughout June and July, but August was when shit got real. It seemed like there wasn’t a second where you didn’t have a coach in your face screaming and yelling about one thing or another. You had to keep your head on a swivel because the hitting drills were endless, and one bad practice could cost you playing time.
August also meant the beginning of a new school year. Class all day followed by a two-hour football practice made for a long day, but new teachers, subjects, friends, and girls made it all a blast. It seemed like there were endless opportunities to connect with new people, add to established friendships, and learn new things.
I loved it all.
It’s All Connected
A friend recently told me about his 22-year old son who just graduated from college. Ordinarily, a college diploma opens up a world of possibilities for a young person. Yes, going from college to the workforce can be a tough transition, but it should be a fun and exciting time in life. Instead, this young man is back living at his parents’ house, staying up all night playing video games, and eating a shitty standard American diet. He has no discipline or routine. Hell, he barely even goes outside to get some sunlight. Working out at the gym was very important to him during college, but that has fallen by the wayside. He’s on medication for depression and anxiety, but for some reason, the pharmaceutical companies don’t seem to be solving his problems.
So many people are stuck in a cycle of bullshit brought on by things that are considered normal in modern society. There are commonalities for everyone who is living life with no routine, discipline, and/or purpose. I have family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances who have dealt with many of these same issues. It’s truly amazing that more people don’t realize that all of this shit is connected. If you pay attention even a little bit, you’ll notice that all of these things usually go together. Lack of sleep, no routine, shitty eating habits, a diet consisting of lots of processed junk, being overweight, minimal exercise, a slew of pharmaceutical drugs, anxiety, depression, lack of sunlight and vitamin D, the inability to focus, mindless scrolling through social media, etc.
Everything in America today is about seeking comfort. Sit inside in the air conditioning playing on your phone having junk food delivered to your door. Take a pill for absolutely every ache and pain and emotion. Never get hot, sweaty, or sore. Just stay numb all over, distracted by social media and the next superhero movie debuting soon.
It really makes me worried about where we’re headed.
Wake-Up Call
I went to see a physical therapist about my right hip recently. I’ve been really annoyed with the constant tightness that’s plagued my right side from my lower back all the way down through my groin and hamstring. It’s affected my ability to lift exactly how I want and has kept me up in the night at times. Basically, I’ve been feeling sorry for myself and thinking my life is over. I was definitely due for a wake-up call.
I arrived at the PT office early and found a seat on a box near the door. I had my trusty Kindle with me so I figured I’d just sit there and read until my appointment time. It was uncomfortable to sit as my nagging hip continued its constant reminder that something isn’t right.
Although I couldn’t see anyone else in the place, I could hear some conversation coming from a back room as one of the PTs worked with a patient. It seemed like a normal small talk conversation with intermittent fan bike noises as the patient did some interval sprints. Eventually, the PT and his patient came out to the main room where I was sitting. The patient was a young kid who couldn’t have been more than 13 or 14 years old, and it took me a second to register that he was missing a leg. I sat there quietly while this kid and his PT worked through some floor presses. From their discussion, I learned that this dude recently finished a round of chemotherapy and was missing a leg because he had bone cancer and had to have it amputated. Holy hell…here I am sitting there feeling sorry for myself because my hip is kind of sore, and this kid is bravely and casually facing the rest of his life with only one leg. What a wake-up call. I wanted to kick my own ass for being such a crybaby about my circumstances.
Get your head out of your ass and quit feeling sorry for yourself.
Expecting Too Much
I need to quit having expectations for some of the people in my life. Over the last month or so, I’ve wasted way too much time and energy and possible sleep by expecting others to start to get a clue and take some action to help themselves and everyone around them. The world could be crumbling and burning down around some folks, and they would just sit there afraid to say or do anything for fear of making waves or, heaven forbid, changing their own way of thinking.
I forget that not everyone reads books and listens to podcasts that make them think about things like ownership and accountability. Not everyone has a spouse or crew of friends who will call them out when they are screwing things up. It’s not common for people to start their day with a good old fashioned ass-kicking at the gym. It’s funny how getting choked out and physically dominated will change a person’s perspective when it comes to things like ego and self-assuredness. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but you better believe that if I make a mistake, I fucking own it, learn from it, and do better the next time. You’d think any grown adult would want to do the same, but it’s actually very uncommon. It’s time to stop expecting too much from others.
My perspective shift is already paying off. Last weekend, I got the best sleep I’ve had in a very long time.
The Men Who Raised Me
My dad was the man. It was never even a thought that he was going to do anything for the family other than what was best for all of us. Our household was incredibly stable and comfortable. We weren’t rich but we sure never missed a meal or wanted for much. During my entire childhood, I watched my dad handle his business like a man. He would say with pride that he was a, “nose to the grindstone,” worker who just kept going and always answered the bell when it came time to get things done. My dad always warned me about the dangers of being a “leaker.” Leakers were people that weren’t dependable when the chips were down and the game was on the line. In some ways, the worst thing a person could be was a leaker. That mentality is still a major part of my mindset and perspective. Leakers are everywhere, and it usually doesn’t take me long to spot one.
Not only did I have an amazing dad, but I was spoiled in the sense that I had a number of other strong male role models in my life. As a sports-obsessed kid, I always had some kind of season going on. Football, baseball, basketball, track, whatever. I got to play for some really amazing coaches who volunteered a ton of their time to make me better. Some of these guys were super serious. Others were silly. Many were a little rougher around the edges than my parents. All had a huge impact on my life.
My dad would raise his voice now and then, but he rarely cursed and never at us kids. On the other hand, I had coaches who would scream and yell and berate and curse and throw things. Even though these actions were not something I had ever experienced at home, it never bothered me when my coaches did them. I just figured it was all part of the process. It certainly made me grow some thicker skin and learn to handle a bit of adversity. There was one coach I really could not stand to be around, but I knew I had to show up every day, do what he said, and be there for my friends and teammates. That taught me a lot about life that has proved invaluable in adulthood.
Different sports always carried their own unique smells. During baseball season it was the smell of fresh cut grass and the oil and leather of my glove. The football locker room absolutely reeked of grass, dirt, and sweaty pads and practice uniforms that were long overdue for a wash. Our school’s basketball gym had the smell of hardwood and the varnish they used on the court. But apart from the natural smells of the season or playing field, my coaches all delivered their own odors too. Basically, these guys smelled like grown men of the ‘80s and ‘90s. One coach smelled like an ash tray and coffee as he yelled into my face. Another coach made me adept at identifying the smell of various flavors of Skoal chewing tobacco. During the fall deer hunting season, I saw one of my coaches at a buddy’s hunting camp. He was drinking good old white label Jim Beam on the rocks. When I asked him if it was good he gave me one of the greatest reviews of all time. “It ain’t bad if you don’t mind the taste of whiskey.” Naturally, he reeked like whiskey as he said it, and my brain forever associates him with that sweet smell of Jim Beam.
My mom is the greatest mother a person could hope for, but I owe a lot to the men who raised me. They got me on the path to where I am today. They mentored me, built me up, made me suffer, taught me life lessons, toughened me up, showed me how grown men should handle their business, and a whole lot more.
Johnson, Johnson, Hogberg, Mendina, Maule, Erkilla, Chounard, Benzi, Anderson, Gagnon, Bal, Larsen, Hamlin, LaRoux, Castelaz, Kangas, Trombley, Skewis, Formolo, Madigan, Bray, Bray, Zygiel, Leiker, Pellegrini, Grayvold.
Standards
Some work stuff has really been driving me nuts lately. I definitely work with some top notch people, but there are folks…it’s like they have no standards whatsoever. Making excuses, missing deadlines, screwing over coworkers, watching things happen and not doing a darn thing to help, focusing on absolutely everything that does not matter one bit. It blows my mind that some people have no problem with operating in this manner.
I’m certainly not a live to work type of person. My free time is sacred, and I have numerous things I love outside of work, but I still handle my business like a professional.
I had an interview for a promotion this past week. Or I should say, I had an interview for a promotion to a job that I’ve already been doing for over a month now. What’s the holdup? Only two people applied. Well, actually three people applied, but one guy applied to the wrong job. I’m not even sure how that’s possible since the application questions had to be totally different and not even close to relevant to our qualification area. I’m over here having multiple people review my application package and doing practice interviews with two different managers, and this guy can’t even apply to the right job. My boss’s response? “Oh, he was in a rush because he waited until the last minute.” MAKING EXCUSES FOR THE GUY WHO COULDN’T EVEN APPLY TO THE RIGHT JOB. What is that about? That’s our standard? Our senior positions are so important and challenging that these are the people we’re looking to promote.
Then another manager told me that I shouldn’t say that I’ve already been doing the job for a month because they can’t have me doing the work without first promoting me. It could get my boss in trouble. Are you kidding me? So let me get this straight. I truthfully mention that something has been going on at work, and a manager tells me I shouldn’t talk about it because it could get my manager in trouble. Wow. Thank you for furthering my point that the way we are doing business and treating people is completely jacked up.
To add another layer to this mess, we have this culture team that recently presented some initiatives at an all-employees meeting. Succession planning and staff retention were two of the focus areas that were discussed. I feel my situation is Exhibit A of how we are just completely dropping the ball. We had a perfect opportunity to plan ahead and throw some people a bone and we totally blew it.
And it’s not just about me. We actually have two promotion openings and we didn’t post an interim acting position for either of them. We have some new team members with less than five years in the organization who could really use the resume bullet, but nope. Just leave the positions vacant and don’t think about giving anyone the opportunity to one day move up in the agency.
Bloody hell.
I know I’m ranting and raving like a lunatic (or crybaby) here, but this stuff has been driving me insane.
Do you know what I’m going to do?
Quit?
Nope.
Try to find another job?
Uh-uh.
Start to operate like everyone else?
Fuck. That. Shit.
I’m going to hold the line. I’m going to dig in. I’m going to be stalwart. I’m going to maintain my standard.
Not doing so isn’t an option. Live with some adversity.
Bring it on.
Six Months to a New Life
I was one of those kids who always dreamed about growing up to be big and strong. Watching World’s Strongest Man competitions and admiring the jacked up physiques of monstrous professional wrestlers seemed like a totally normal thing. When I was in fifth grade or so, my Sunday school teacher at church asked us all to write something on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope. After six weeks of praying on it and talking to God about our written concerns, we were going to open our envelopes and discuss whether or not anything had changed. When it was my turn to open my envelope and read my note out loud, everyone seemed a bit surprised to hear that I had written, “I want to be big and strong.”
Growing up and even through college, I was always super active, playing sports, lifting weights, and doing random physical challenges that sounded like fun. I stayed super skinny through all of this as my metabolism raged and any knowledge of decent nutrition eluded me. In 2011, I finally got on a mission to start pounding food, put on weight, and get big and strong. I was able to get fairly big but was never strong compared to other strong people. It was a fun journey, but by 2017, I was carrying some bad weight and just didn’t look and feel how I wanted. A former student of mine was always posting fitness pictures on social media. The guy was completely jacked and his progress gave me a kick in the ass to get started. As a lifelong fan of bodybuilding, I had come across this guy on the internet named Dave Pulcinella. Look him up if you’re not familiar. Dave’s brother Mike did a series of documentaries called “Raising the Bar” that chronicled a few seminal moments in Dave’s amateur bodybuilding career. I knew that Dave ran his nutrition coaching business out of a gym in Delaware, so I decided to look him up and see if I could become one of his clients. Hiring Dave also seemed fitting because Dave’s cousin Steve, owner of Iron Sport Gym in Glenolden, PA, had coached me at an EliteFTS lifting seminar back in the early 2010s and was one of my inspirations for trying to get as huge as possible in the first place. Things had come full circle.
I drove down to meet with Dave, got my meal plan, and started on my journey. Every few weeks I would visit Dave to check in, get weighed, and have my body fat measured. I stayed ridiculously disciplined on my diet, measuring all my food and never missing a cardio or lifting session. Getting started was the hardest part, but, as with so many other things in life, once I stopped feeling sorry for myself I was able to embrace the struggle of the process. Staying strict and executing the plan became a point of pride for me. Showing up to the office and already having forty-five minutes of cardio done gave me a win before most people were even getting their day started. My progress was rapid and it was like I could see my body changing before my eyes. I had paid Dave up front for six months, and by the end of that term I looked like a completely different person. It felt good to feel good again. I was in shape and knew I could do anything I wanted: lifting, running, hiking, biking. Suddenly it was all accessible to me, and it had only taken six months to completely change my life.
I think that’s one thing most people don’t realize. In six months your life and the way you feel about yourself can be completely different. Yes, it will be hard. You may struggle and fail and be hungry. That’s all okay. Whenever I got to feeling sorry for myself, I would have this voice in my head asking, “Are you going to die? Is this worse than some poor soldier storming the beaches of Normandy or being forced forward on the Bataan Death March? No…okay, well then quit being such a baby and keep fucking pushing.”
In this six months, I learned that discipline is everything. Once I made the decision to lose weight, it was already done. I just needed to have the discipline and patience to let the plan play out over time. Reading and listening to Jocko Willink and taking his “Discipline Equals Freedom” mantra to heart really changed my perspective on tackling challenges in life.
You can do this too. You can change your life in six months.
Get started. Be disciplined. Enjoy the process. Embrace the suck. Change your life.
Some 2022 Ramblings
Well, my writing was pretty much nonexistent at the end of 2022, but life just got busy and I didn’t have a lot to share. This past year, 2022, had lots of ups and downs, and I want to take a minute and just reflect on some things that stand out.
The year started with an early January “work” trip to Key West, Florida, for a conference. This was at a Marriott resort and was, in short, awesome. Key West was still as fun and beautiful as I remembered it. I flew back on a Thursday and was shoveling snow Friday morning.
Cali and I took an amazing trip to Arizona in May. The official purpose was her brother’s wedding, but we stayed a whole week and just had a ton of fun seeing family and friends, driving ATVs up in Payson, laying out by the pool, working out, sipping coffee on the back patio of our hotel, and just enjoying each other’s company. It was wonderful.
I had some weird medical stuff throughout the year. Antibiotics for a testicular issue, antibiotics for a redone root canal, a hospital stay for a weird foodborne virus thing, a broken foot, an ongoing hip issue, what I’m pretty sure was COVID during the holidays. This stuff was annoying, but none of it turned out to be too serious and it really made me grateful for my health. There are people who have to live with ailments a million times worse every single day so I have no room to whine.
My sweet grandmother passed away at 98. She was easily one of the best women I will ever know. My Sunday afternoon tradition still has me checking the clock around 4 PM to see if it’s time to call Grandma. Force of habit after about 20 years, I guess.
I didn’t get home to see my family, and that just plain sucks. My hospital stay in June kind of derailed things around the 4th of July, and my planned trip home around Thanksgiving just didn’t sound appealing after tons of work travel in September and October. Seeing my family so rarely really makes me sad, but I don’t know how to remedy the situation. Sometimes I just feel stuck, but I know I will regret not seeing them more in the long run.
One of the major highlights of the year was forging a lot of friendships and relationships. This includes friends, the dog park crew, neighbors, jiu-jitsu training partners, work colleagues, and lots of other random people I crossed paths with throughout the year. I love connecting with people. It always fires me up and really makes me grateful for my time and place in the world.
I read a ton of books in 2022. Reading has always given me great pleasure, and this year I had a ton of free time to do something I really love. If anyone has any book recommendations for me, I’d love to hear them.
I got a lot of shit done at work. I really hustled, traveled, and worked hard at my job. Hopefully this pays off with a sweet promotion in 2023, but time will tell.
Most importantly, I spent a ton of time with Cali and Arvid, my two favorite creatures in the whole wide world. I never get sick of spending time with them. They’re just the best.
Onward and upward.
2022 Book List
I know I always run the risk of coming off as pretentious by tracking and publishing these book lists, but I enjoy doing it and it’s fun to look back on all the books I read in the past year. The year 2022 ended up being a great reading year for me as I blazed through lots of really outstanding books. Sure, there were a few duds in the mix, but I enjoyed most of it and I hit a lot of different genres: fantasy, history, true crime, horror, biography, memoir, sociology, western, fiction, and, last but not least, pro wrestling.
This year was special because I completed this fun list of “21 Western Novels Every Man Should Read” from Art of Manliness. These books are denoted on the list with an “AoM” designator. There were several standouts from this list, with my top five as follows: Lonesome Dove, Centennial, The Son, Little Big Man, and El Paso.
I am going to start working my way through this Reader’s Digest list of 25 true crime books. These will be designated with “RD”.
If anyone reading this has any book recommendations, I’d love to hear them.
“The Dark Tower (Dark Tower VII)” by Stephen King - Well, I finally finished The Dark Tower series. This was a really epic tale that had countless connections to other Stephen King stories and characters. I enjoyed it. I’m glad I read it. I’m glad it’s over and I can move on to some other books that have been sitting on my shelves for months waiting for some attention.
“Enemy at the Gates” by William Craig - This was an absolutely fantastic book about the Battle of Stalingrad. The movie of the same name was but a very tiny part of this broader story. I love books that remind me not to feel sorry for myself or take my life for granted. Highly, highly recommend.
“Ali: A Life” by Jonathan Eig - Kindle - This book was great from start to finish. When it comes to biographies, I look for books that tell the full story of the subject, warts and all. Eig’s book didn’t pull any punches (no pun intended) and really spoke of the good, bad, and ugly of Ali. Highly recommend.
“Ghost Soldiers” by Hampton Sides - My mom got me this book 15-20 years ago, but for whatever reason I never got around to reading it until now. This phenomenal story is about the rescue effort of a prison camp full of World War II soldiers who made it through the Bataan Death March. I highly recommend reading Michael Norman’s “Tears in the Darkness” before this book. It’ll give you a good background on what these POWs had already been through before getting to nightmarish prison camp. I’m going to look into more books by Hampton Sides. “Blood and Thunder” is the best non-fiction western I’ve ever read, and “Ghost Soldiers” is up there as far as World War II books go.
“New Jack: Memoir of a Pro Wrestling Extremist” by New Jack and Jason Norman - Kindle - What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good book about pro wrestling. I’ve never watched a New Jack match in my life, but I can appreciate the era and attitude of mid to late 1990s ECW. This was an okay book if you’re a fan of professional wrestling.
“The Whiskey Rebellion” by William Hogeland - The first third of this book had some parts that were slow, including the in-depth workings of Congress back in the late 1700s. The rest of the book was a very fast and enjoyable read. The events described in this book made it clear that our government has been operating under certain pretenses from the get-go. Tax breaks are given to large companies, politicians make laws and deals that line their own pockets, people in rural areas and lower income folks often take it on the chin. I could go on and on. I definitely recommend this book if you’re a fan of U.S. history.
“The Boo” by Pat Conroy - Pat Conroy has been one of my favorite authors ever since my buddy Poike got me, “My Losing Season.” “The Boo” is Conroy’s first book and it’s about a very influential character from his time at The Citadel. I felt a connection to this book because of the time I spent in Charleston and the mud run I did on the beautiful Citadel campus. I had searched for this book for a long time before finding it in a used bookstore down in Charleston, so it’s very special to me. Also check out Pat Conroy’s other works: The Prince of Tides, The Great Santini, The Lords of Discipline, The Water is Wide, Beach Music, and South of Broad. They are all fantastic.
“Sacred Cow” by Diana Rodgers and Robb Wolf - Really excellent book that tackles some topics about food, agriculture, and meat production that go against the narrative pushed by the mainstream media, Hollywood celebrities, and our government. Highly recommend to anyone interested in eating, feeling, and living better.
“Mindhunter” by John Douglas with Mark Olshaker - RD - This would be categorized as a true crime book, but it’s also the autobiography of John Douglas, a career FBI agent and criminal profiler who worked on some of the biggest murder cases in American history. Written in the 1990s, this book is a bit dated, but it’s interesting to see what crimes have been solved since the writing of the book and to think about how DNA has evolved over the years. Highly recommend to any true crime fans.
“The Corner: A Year in the Life of an Inner-City Neighborhood” by David Simon and Edward Burns - This book is long, but awesome. Written in the mid-1990s, it explores a section of West Baltimore and the associated drug trade. If you liked HBO’s The Wire I think you would really like this book. The authors really put a human face on the dealers, drug addicts, police, and other neighborhood residents. Highly recommend.
“Mankind: Have a Nice Day” by Mick Foley - This is a book written by a professional wrestler, and it’s one of the few books I’ve read twice now. Go ahead and judge me. I first read this book in the summer of 2008 as I sat out by the apartment complex pool in the scorching Arizona sunshine during my first summer in Tempe. There are parts of this book that made me laugh to the point of tears in both 2008 and 2022. Highly recommend if you’re a fan of professional wrestling.
“Butts in Seats: The Tony Schiavone Story” by Dirk Manning and Tony Schiavone - Cali got this for me for my birthday and I absolutely loved it. This is a graphic novel about the life of wrestling announcer Tony Schiavone, the voice of my childhood. I most remember Tony from being an announcer on WCW Monday Nitro during the mid-90s, and I’ve listened to his “What Happened When?” podcast for countless hours. Another great book for fans of professional wrestling.
“American Injustice” by David S. Rudolf - Kindle - This was a phenomenal book that reveals some great failures of our country’s criminal justice system. It was a surprisingly fast and easy read for such serious subject matter. Highly recommend for any true crime fans.
“Calhoun: American Heretic” by Robert Elder - Kindle - Great book about an important figure in American history. Elder does a masterful job of balancing Calhoun’s importance to the antebellum south and early nineteenth century Congress with his justified criticisms of Calhoun as a slave owner. Highly recommend for fans of U.S. history.
“Dragon Teeth” by Michael Crichton - AoM - This was a delightful historical fiction book about fossil hunters in the American west. I didn’t want this hidden gem in the Western genre to end. Highly recommend.
“The Son” by Philipp Meyer - AoM - This is truly one of the best books I have ever read. I recommend getting the actual book version (vice Kindle) because there is a family tree at the front of the book that you’ll want to refer back to frequently. At first I found it annoying but once I got the family connections down pat, I loved it. I did not expect this book to be such an epic saga of an American family spanning generations, but the author nailed it. Highly, highly recommend.
“Freezing Order” by Bill Browder - Kindle - Really excellent book about money laundering and other crimes perpetrated by the Russian government. Perhaps I should have read Browder’s “Red Notice” before this one, but this book was an enjoyable read.
“El Paso” by Winston Groom - AoM - This was a fantastic book that mixed in some historical fiction along with a good story. Highly recommend to anyone who likes westerns.
“The Revenant” by Michael Punke - AoM - Truly one of the best books I’ve ever read. This is a tale of revenge and fur trappers going up the Missouri River in the 1820s. I can’t recommend this book enough. Such a pleasant surprise.
“The Shootist” by Glendon Swarthout - AoM - I didn’t expect a ton out of this book but it turned out to be excellent. It’s really a different take on an old school seemingly invincible gunslinger who happens to be sick and dying. This is a super easy read so don’t hesitate to invest the time.
“The Killer’s Shadow” by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker - Kindle - This book was okay, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as “Mindhunter” by the same authors.
“Camino Winds” by John Grisham - Kindle - This book was kind of just…meh. It was an easy read but the story was just kind of straightforward and not really exciting.
“The Road” by Cormac McCarthy - Kindle - This book had some mildly interesting parts, but I don’t know if I’d call it good. It is a quick read though so if you check it out, it won’t eat up a ton of your time.
“Undaunted Courage” by Stephen E. Ambrose - This is an amazing book about the Lewis and Clark expedition. It starts a little slow as it slogs through details of the preparations of the trip, but once Lewis and Clark actually leave St. Louis for the Far West, it’s a real page turner. I’ve read a bunch of Ambrose’s books over the years, and this one is right up there with the best of them. Highly recommend.
“Pet Sematary” by Stephen King - This is just a classic, freaky Stephen King book, definitely one of my new favorites. For some reason I love when his books are set in quiet Maine towns and in time periods before cell phones. Maybe it just makes me nostalgic for back home. Highly recommend.
“The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” by Mark Twain - Kindle - I read this book several times as a kid. This was fun to revisit and I remembered why the younger me liked it so much.
“Necroscope” by Brian Lumley - A friend from the dog park recommended this book, the first in a series, and I decided to give it a shot. It was pretty good and kept me entertained despite being a kind of weird vampire/sci-fi/paranormal mix of stories. I’m a huge fan of Stephen King so I enjoyed this book.
“Necroscope II: Vamphyri!” by Brian Lumley - This was another good book in the Necroscope series. It kept me entertained and interested. On to the next one.
“Three Ring Circus” by Jeff Pearlman - Kindle - I’ve read a number of Pearlman’s books over the years and they have all been fantastic. This book covers the 1996-2004 Lakers, the Shaq-Kobe-Phil Jackson era. I loved every minute of this book and have so many vivid memories of watching these teams as a sports-obsessed teenager. Highly recommend if you’re a fan of late-90s/early-00s NBA.
“Necroscope III: The Source” by Brian Lumley - I wasn’t sure where the author was going to go after a lot of things were wrapped up in book two. There were several new layers added to the storyline here, including a whole new world/universe. I really enjoyed this book and some parts of it reminded me of Stephen King’s Dark Tower series.
“The Bad Guys Won” by Jeff Pearlman - Kindle - This is another great book from Pearlman. Detailing adventures of the ‘86 Mets, this book is entertaining as hell and a very enjoyable read. Highly recommend for any sports fan.
“Necroscope IV: Deadspeak” by Brian Lumley - This was a good book in the Necroscope series, but I’m ready for a break. There were some new ideas in this book, but overall it was more of the same as the rest of the series. Maybe I’m just losing momentum and ready to move on to some other books.
“Helltown” by Casey Sherman - Kindle - RD - Truly one of the best true crime books I have ever read. This story about some grisly murders on Cape Cod had me hooked from start to finish. Kind of an east coast version of Charles Manson and Vincent Bugliosi’s “Helter Skelter”. Highly recommend for true crime fans.
“Later” by Stephen King - This was a fun and easy read, the first in a Hard Case Crime boxed set by Stephen King. When I was a kid, I used to love reading “The Hardy Boys.” They had a series of books called “The Hardy Boys: Case Files” and this boxed set is very reminiscent of that. The book covers have fun artwork and the books aren’t super long. I’m very glad I picked these up.
“Joyland” by Stephen King - Another great Hard Case Crime book. Super easy read but fun and entertaining.
“The Colorado Kid” by Stephen King - Really fun mystery, but not the usual. Check it out and you’ll see what I mean.
“Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI” by David Grann - Kindle - RD - “Helltown” (see #33) put me on kind of a true crime kick (not that I’m ever not on a true crime kick). This book is basically a history and true crime book rolled into one. Highly recommend.
“Lisey’s Story” by Stephen King - This was a good book that held my interest. It wasn’t the best Stephen King book, but very solid.
“The Colony” by Sally Denton - Kindle - Fascinating book about fundamentalist Mormons living down in Mexico. I’ve read a good bit about the history of the Mormon church, and it’s never boring. This book has the added element of involvement with Mexican drug cartels.
“Ghost Story” by Peter Straub - I was really really excited to read this book and it was just…okay. It took about 350 pages for the story to really start and once it did it didn’t do much for me. Disappointing.
“Chaos” by Tom O’Neill - Kindle - This was a really interesting read that dug into some of the inconsistencies with Vincent Bugliosi’s true crime classic “Helter Skelter”. “Chaos” looks in to a deeper story behind the Charles Manson murders and a complicated entanglement of characters ranging from local law enforcement to the CIA. Highly recommend if you like true crime.
“Revival” by Stephen King - This was a really good book that I read in about three days. There was some fun stuff in here. A traveling preacher man, a circus, bad dreams, rock and roll. Definitely a good newer (2014) King novel.
“Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets” by David Simon - Kindle - This book follows homicide detectives in the Baltimore Police Department, and it is truly one of the best books I’ve ever read. This book and David Simon’s other outstanding book “The Corner” (#10 on this list) are the basis for HBO’s The Wire, one of the greatest TV shows ever.
“The Greatest Beer Run Ever: A Memoir of Friendship, Loyalty, and War” by John “Chick” Donohue and J.T. Molloy - Kindle - This is an easy, fun, and touching read. John Donohue went to great lengths to let his friends serving in Vietnam felt appreciated. There is also lots of great 1960s U.S. history in this book.
“Hell’s Angels” by Hunter S. Thompson - Kindle - This book started slow but ended up being kind of fun. There are some good stories in here about Thompson hanging out with the Angels back in the late ‘60s in a really crazy culture of drugs and outlandish behavior. Far from the best book I’ve ever read on the Hell’s Angels (that would be “No Angel” by Jay Dobyns), but not terrible.
“Hellhound on his Trail” by Hampton Sides - Like everything else I’ve read by Hampton Sides (like #4 on this list), this book was fantastic. There is some great U.S. history in here around the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. and the manhunt for James Earl Ray. Highly recommend.
“Lost Girls: An Unsolved American Mystery” by Robert Kolker - Kindle - RD - This is an interesting true crime book about five girls that went missing on Long Island. As the title indicates, the case has not been solved. It’s a great whodunnit with no real resolution. Highly recommend for true crime fans.
“On Desperate Ground” by Hampton Sides - Another great book by Hampton Sides (#4 and #46 on this list). This book is about a horrific battle of the Korean War. I had a great uncle who had been a cook in the Army during the Korean War. He didn’t talk about it much and I rarely heard anything about Korean War veterans when I was a kid. It was great to read an epic tale of bravery from the Silent Generation. Highly recommend if you like military history and tales of human struggle and hardship.
“Just Mercy” by Bryan Stevenson - Kindle - RD - Excellent book about corruption in the criminal justice system and wrongfully convicted people. This book was very touching and heart wrenching. I have some real nuanced opinions on the death penalty, and this book gave me lots to consider. Highly recommend (see also #13 on this list).
“The Sisters Brothers” by Patrick DeWitt - AoM - This was a fun, easy, and, at times, hilarious read. It’s a story about two brothers who make their way from Oregon to California in search of a gold prospector. Highly recommend.
“Invisible” by Stephen L. Carter - Kindle - RD - I got this book off a list of best true crime books, and it was advertised as a dramatic tale about taking down the American Mafia. Based on that criteria, this book was a failure. Yes, the prosecution of Lucky Luciano was covered, but it was only about 25 pages of a 280+ page book. That being said, this was a good biography about Eunice Hunton Carter, a remarkable black female attorney back in the 1930s. There was some great U.S. history and other thought-provoking material in this book, just don’t go in expecting a true crime story.
“As The Sun Rises It Dawns On Him” by Ross Patterson - Having read Patterson’s first two books (“At Night She Cries While He Rides His Steed” and “When Darkness Falls He Doesn’t Catch It”) I pretty much knew what to expect going into this one. If you’re a fan of outrageous, rude, politically incorrect, and raunchy comedy with a bit of history mixed in, you’ll love these books. Easy read and made me laugh.
“Unbelievable” by T. Christian Miller and Ken Armstrong - Kindle - RD - This was a really excellent true crime book about a serial rapist who operated in Colorado and Washington. The book also included some interesting discussions on false rape accusations and why so many women are reluctant to report rape and sexual assault. Highly recommend.
“The Outsider” by Stephen King - This was a great book from start to finish. Easily the best modern Stephen King book I’ve read. The first half reads like a good true crime book, and then it gets a little bit supernatural. Highly recommend.
“Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, and the Last Trial of Harper Lee” by Casey Cep - Kindle - RD - Much like #51 on this list, this book was billed as true crime but was a lot more of a biography of a remarkable woman, namely, Harper Lee. There was discussion of an interesting case involving a number of mysterious deaths surrounding this southern minister, but it just didn’t read like a true crime book. Not a bad book at all though.
The Hot Rod Garage
My buddy Hammer sent me a video a few days back that elicited a tsunami of memories and emotions. To most, the video wouldn’t look like much. Hammer was back in Norway, Michigan, standing in the two-car garage of the house his parents have lived in for the past 40 years or so. He pressed the button for the automatic garage door opener and slowly panned around the space as the door raised and light flooded in. What was so striking was that the Hot Rod Garage, site of countless memories from the first 38 years of my life, was empty. Gone were the bookshelves full of car and biker magazines and yearbooks from the Norway High School Class of 1970, the high-top table and stools, the legendary Farah Fawcett poster on the wall, the Harley Davidson t-shirts hanging from the rafters, the yellow refrigerator that kept Miller Lite colder than any beer cave in human history, the work bench where Uncle Dudley painted and pinstriped anything his creative imagination could conjure, the old 4” x 6” picture of a long ago motorcycle trip to Devil’s Tower, the small sound system that played any kind of music a person could want as long as it was classic rock, the mementoes of Norway High School football teams from the late-90s and early 2000s. It was all just gone.
For many years, the Hot Rod Garage was a central part of my life, a hub for activity and socialization. Aside from the draw of the fun and action, Mumsy and Uncle Dudley, my de facto parents, always made me feel safe and welcome no matter what kind of stresses and challenges they were facing in their own lives. They were raising two boys of their own and working full-time jobs, but they still made time and always found a way to make me feel part of the family.
Situated at the top of the hill coming from Main Street and a few short blocks from the school meant there was always traffic at the Hot Rod Garage. People driving by were constantly stopping to have a beer, tell stories, or just shoot the shit before getting on with the rest of their day. Neighbors would walk over to see what was going on and share some laughs. Various members of the Hamlin family and their friends were always out there wrenching on cool classic cars and motorcycles. Once I turned 16 and got my driver’s license, regardless of my destination, I always drove by the Hot Rod Garage because I never knew who might be there, hanging out and having fun. The random gathering of friends on any given day or night, sitting around drinking and telling stories until the wee hours of the morning, stopping off for one more beer and a bratwurst after a night of revelry at the Knight Owl and Mr. Mom’s, vacuuming out my old Blazer once a year whether it needed it or not, hanging out and trying to calm my nerves before hopping into Hammer’s Firebird on our way to the school to play Iron Mountain in the fall of 2001, Harley Hat Meetings, early Saturday mornings where Uncle Dudley pontificated on the joys of getting up at dawn before the assholes of the world are awake, and on and on.
I think seeing the barren Hot Rod Garage hit me so hard because it was such a sharp reminder of time marching on. Like so many memories of the idyllic small town where I grew up, the Hot Rod Garage will always occupy a special place in my heart and will always be something I try to hold onto dearly. That garage, and the people, conversations, and activity therein, helped raise and shape me into the person I am today.
Be Nicer To Yourself
I need to find a way to be nicer to myself. I’ve fallen into the habit of almost constant negative self-talk and worry. I’ve been really hard on myself lately and can’t seem to give myself a break no matter what the situation. This seems to have really gotten worse over the past two months after Cali and I got home from vacation and life through some curveballs in our direction.
Three weeks ago I ended up in the hospital with some kind of weird food-borne virus that caused inflammation of my intestines (also known as colitis). The pain was bad enough that I not only went to the emergency room, but when I got there, I was on my knees on the floor of the ER doubled over in pain. It felt like the appendicitis I had when I was 14. When the doctor heard my symptoms, he immediately started talking about Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, and all kinds of other autoimmune diseases that were right out of left field. I had plenty of time to sit alone in my hospital room with my phone, searching Google and letting my anxiety and worry ramp up with regards to how the rest of my life was going to look. After three nights in the hospital, a CT scan, multiple blood, urine, and stool samples, and two colonoscopies, the doctors told me they didn’t see any sign of Crohn’s or anything like that. It must just be some weird virus that I picked up from a bad meal that I had when I was in Pittsburgh for work. My body was probably more susceptible to something like this because of the nearly three weeks of two different antibiotics I had been on (for two totally random and unrelated issues) a month prior that wiped out all the good and bad bacteria in my gut.
Before all these stomach issues began, I had signed up for a jiu-jitsu tournament on July 9th. When I signed up, I was looking forward to four uninterrupted and productive weeks of training and preparation. I didn’t have any work travel on my schedule and I was in a good training rhythm. Of course my unexpected hospital stay and not eating or sleeping for three days derailed my plans, but once I commit or say I’m going to do something, I’m pretty good at following through. I still showed up to compete on July 9th, and it was pretty much a disaster all around. Not only had I missed a bunch of training time, but I lost 10-12 pounds and at a bodyweight of 212, I qualified for the 215 weight class instead of the 230 I had originally signed up for. This gave me the option to back out of the competition since there was no one else in the 215 class, but I wanted to do what I said I would, so I pressed on in the 230 class.
Not surprisingly, I got my ass kicked and somehow managed to severely mess up my left big toe and right wrist in the first of five matches of the day. Again, I pressed on and finished what I started. I was 0-5 on the day, but I still finished. My reward will be to take a forced layoff while things heal up.
I spent most of the day after the competition feeling sorry for myself and being pissed at how stupid it was for me to have competed in the first place. I got to thinking how I need to be nicer to myself and give myself a break once in awhile. It’s like I have this constant voice in my head that calls me a pussy every time I even consider any type of relaxation or easement. Constantly comparing myself to others just multiplies the problem. Discipline is one of the most important traits a person can have, but there are times where I take it too far to the detriment of my own health and well-being.
Above all, I need to stop my internal negativity and worry. There is no productivity or benefit gained from my severe lack of positivity.
Signs of Summer in Norway, MI
It’s probably pretty obvious that I have deep and fond memories of my idyllic childhood growing up in the tiny Upper Peninsula town of Norway, Michigan. The other day I got to thinking about some of the sights and sounds of Norway that were deeply intertwined with the fabric of summertime. I shared a few with some old friends and family, and in turn got a few more ideas. As with most of my stories from Norway, you probably had to be there to appreciate most of these, but it’s fun to write them out nonetheless.
In no particular order…
Hearing the sounds of the races from the Norway Speedway on Friday night
Swimming at Mrs. Falk’s pool
Picking strawberries at Pellegrini’s farm
Watching the Cubs and listening to Harry Caray on WGN out of Chicago
Going to the early service at the church park
Hanging out in the freezing cold air conditioning of Hoffa’s Underground
Hitting some golf balls at Oak Crest Golf Course
Burning around Hamilton Lakes on boats, jet skis, and tubes with friends
Hanging out at Uncle Dudley’s Hot Rod Garage
Going over to Escanaba for the Fun Run in early June
Going over to St. Ignace for the car show weekend in late July
Seeing Skip E. cruise by in his T-bucket hot rod
Seeing shirtless Bruno D. cruise by in his truck with the windows down and a cigar burning
Driving around backwoods camp roads trying to find the night’s party and sleeping in the back of my trusty 2000 Chevy Blazer
Celebrating the 4th of July in quintessential small town fashion
Riding bikes down to Main Street Pizza to get some lunch
Playing volleyball and Koosh paddleball over the backyard clothesline
Going over to Grandma and Grandpa’s to cut the grass and take care of other random yard work
Hearing whistles and the crack of pads coming from the high school practice football field come the first week of August
Working a summer job (paper route, Ebeling’s IGA, high school custodian, Pine Grove grounds crew)
Fishing with my dad and Big Tom Gursky and being regaled by stories from NMU circa 1970
Going up to Lake Antoine (L.A. Beach) to throw the frisbee around and look for girls
Having dinner with my grandparents in their screened-in porch
Putting a box fan in my window at night since our house didn’t have air conditioning
Playing beach volleyball at the Whale on Wednesday nights
Riding mountain bikes at Fumee Lake
Taking in a Skeeters show
Lighting off fireworks and hiding behind the bushes with JimBah
Heading over to the weight room to get prepared for football season
Hitting up the Rialto, Knight Owl, Oak Crest, or any other favorite spot for Friday night fish
Stopping at Dairy Queen for some hot eats and cool treats
Playing pick-up basketball at “The Pit” over in Third Ward
Seeing many great Norway folks walking the streets and enjoying the nice weather
Stopping for a drink and a water bottle refill at the bubbling Norway spring
Seeing the City of Norway trucks out working on summer projects
Ice cream at the Cow Shop in Iron Mountain
Lunch at the A&W
Mini golf and go-karts at Bear’s Den
Bacco trucks on US-2 making road repairs
Backyard baseball and trying to hit a ball over the neighbor’s hedge, our very own Green Monster
Endless games of baseball, tennis, soccer, tag, and anything else we could think of at Marion Park
Barq’s root beer and Twix bars from Grandma and Grandpa’s house
Kickball games in the enormous (actually tiny) backyard at the old house on Saginaw Street
Hours and hours spent at Hamilton Lake beach with old comforter blankets, low rider beach chairs, and boxes of Old Dutch potato chips
Playing kick the can in the dark and never wanting the night to end
Sleeping in the old green canvas tent in the backyard
Weekend and Life
This past weekend was amazing. It wasn’t anything in particular. I didn’t go on a trip or have any kind of big party or event. It was just a regular weekend hanging out at home with my beautiful wife Cali and my bernedoodle Arvid. Everything was pretty much routine. I took Arvid to the dog park and saw the usual morning crew, lifted weights, walked around the neighborhood, shared a ton of laughs with Cali, went to Home Depot for some homemade gym equipment supplies, watched some hilarious television and movies, enjoyed some adult beverages. The sun was shining. It got cooler at night. The wind blew. On Sunday night, I wrote in my training/nutrition/daily log that I wished I could go back and live the whole weekend all over again.
I got to thinking that life is kind of like that. Perhaps one day I will be all too aware that the end is near. My 98-year old grandmother just passed away, and she was definitely ready. Her husband of 60+ years, my beloved Grandpa Bing, died over a decade ago. Pretty much all of her friends were gone too. She was locked in a nursing home the last couple years due to COVID. Confusion had become a normal part of her day. The fun of life had kind of been lost for her to say the least.
Maybe when my time comes, I’ll be able to look back on all the fun I had and all the good people and dogs that were part of my life and wish I could live the whole thing all over again. I’ll think about my family, my wife, my friends, my dogs, lifting weights, training jiu-jitsu with the morning crew, going out to a nuclear plant for a week of inspection. Just all the good parts of my life that make me happy.
Or maybe I’ll get hit by a bus or something and be dead instantly with no time to contemplate anything. Whatever…either way…it’s fine.
Connections
This past Saturday, two of my best friends from work got married. I was lucky enough to be invited, and I got to catch up with several work friends that I haven’t seen in years. This whole night warmed my heart and left me yearning for more human connection. I must be a people person, because every time I experience something like this, I crave more of it. I don’t want these artificial social media “friendships” that are so common today. I want real friends, real people, real handshakes, and real hugs. I want to be out in the world doing something.
Since COVID started in March 2020, I’ve been working at home a lot and missing out on these human interactions. Back when I used to go into the office regularly, we had a crew of people that would eat lunch together, share stories and laughs, and offer support to one another. As much as I love the convenience of working at home, I have to admit that something is missing from my work relationships.
Why Do I Train?
Over the holidays, I purchased a few eBooks from a strength coach named Geoff Neupert. Each book (The Giant, Kettlebell Strong, and Kettlebell Express Ultra) had a variety of kettlebell programs with varying duration and intensity. Sometimes it’s nice to get a program and just run through it without having to plan or think about training too much. These programs got me doing kettlebell clean and presses and push presses, a combination of movements that I had never really done with any kind of direction or goal. It’s been a ton of fun and has definitely improved my conditioning and overhead strength.
Recently, Geoff sent out an e-mail newsletter that discussed his reasons for training. At the end, Geoff asked his readers the reasons for their own training. I had to stop and think about this for a second, and I was surprised that I had never really thought this through and/or written about why, exactly, I devote so much time, energy, money, and other resources to training. This list is my attempt at explaining why I train.
Because I don’t remember a time in my life where I didn’t want to be bigger and stronger.
Because I remember being a kid and watching World’s Strongest Man with my dad. I was amazed at the superhuman strength of Mariusz Pudzianowski, Derek Poundstone, Zydrunas Zavickas, and my dad’s favorite, Magnus ver Magnusson.
Because my friends and I were obsessed with professional wrestling as kids. Who needed superheroes when you could watch real ones in the WWF and WCW? People say wrestling is fake, but you can’t fake the physique of the Ultimate Warrior, the Road Warriors, Warlord, Ravishing Rick Rude, Don Muraco, Hercules, Dino Bravo, Superstar Billy Graham, Hulk Hogan, Scott Steiner, Lex Luger, Buff Bagwell, Scott Norton, and all the other big jacked up dudes who wrestled in the ‘80s and ‘90s.
Because I dreamed of playing varsity sports for my small high school and lifting weights was expected. The Seniors seemed superhuman, and I wanted to be just like them.
Because growing up, I had a great group of friends who made me better through competition. Being in the weight room together was fun and we felt we were working toward a common goal.
Because training has always calmed me down and made me less nervous about my ability to handle anything that comes my way.
Because strength and cardio are practical to everyday life.
Because one day I may not be physically able to train, and I’ll look back on my life thinking how I would give anything to go into the weight room and hammer out some heavy squats.
Because my older sister Stacy always made fun of me for being too skinny and weak.
Because being strong fixes a lot of ailments.
Because I believe quality of life as a person ages is directly proportional to physical strength.
Because I love the mental and physical euphoria that follows a tough workout.
Because I never wanted to be weak, skinny-fat, and lazy.
Because I always wanted to look better naked.
Because I watched my dad put on a lot of weight and I was scared that it would happen to me too.
Because what’s the alternative?
Becoming Self-Smarted
Training has been kind of up and down lately as I’ve had to work around a few minor injuries, both of which were related to jiu-jitsu. First, I separated some ribs, which just took forever to heal. Then after a good two weeks back at jiu-jitsu, I managed to strain my shoulder on a cold morning in the gym. It’s been about four weeks now and I haven’t felt strong enough to go back just yet. At the moment, I have a real love-hate relationship with jiu-jitsu. I love going to the gym early in the morning and training with the folks over there. It’s such a great crew of people who all regularly work on improving and challenging themselves. The movement and strength involved with jiu-jitsu are also unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. The ground work and physicality is so brutal yet so fun and rewarding. It’s definitely something I’d like to do the rest of my life. I just need to figure out a way to continue lifting and training jiu-jitsu without injuring myself and missing time in the gym. I think when I go back to jiu-jitsu, hopefully next week, I’m going to start out just doing two days per week. This should allow me more recovery time from the mat and the weights. It will also let me avoid double duty days where I was rolling in the morning and then squatting heavy later on in the day. As much as I’d like to pretend that I could do it all, the reality is that it just hasn’t been working out too well for me.
I’ll be 38 in April, and while I certainly don’t feel old, little things like recovery and minor injuries are certainly more noticeable than when I was 28. The problem is that my mentality is still that of someone who’s 22 and bulletproof. I feel guilty when I back off or give myself a break, but I know that I need to start being a little more realistic about where I’m at in life and my overall purpose for training and staying physically strong. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so it's time for me to start training appropriately. Now this doesn’t mean I plan on training soft, but I need to stop pushing so hard when things aren’t feeling right. My natural instinct is to keep my head down and try to brute force my way through any issues that arise, but this is pretty much never the smart approach. My goal is to train for the rest of my life, which means finding a way to preserve myself over the long haul.
Slack-Jawed, Poopy Pants Mentality
It’s mid-February and I haven’t written a thing yet in 2022. I came on here a couple weeks ago to whine about a few minor injuries I’ve been working around, but it was such pointless, self-pitying drivel that I wanted to kick my own ass. I started reading “Ghost Soldiers” by Hampton Sides, about some World War II prisoners of war over in the Philippines. It’s always good for me to read books about human suffering because it’s a good reminder that my problems really don’t mean much in the grand scheme of things and that I should just STFU and be happy with my life. Here in America, even though it rarely crosses our minds, most of us have it absolutely made. Sure, we have little daily annoyances and first world problems, but our lives aren’t on the line or at the mercy of enemy soldiers on a daily basis. Let’s be grateful for that and a whole lot more. This life is going by way too fast, and I’ve been missing out on some happiness because of my outlook and attitude towards the world. Sometimes I can feel this anxiety in my chest, like it’s slowly eating away at me. It’s not good for me and it’s not good for anybody else. In many cases, being happy is a choice, a mindset, a reaction to external circumstances that are out of our control. How we view a situation is entirely up to us. It’s time for me to step up and make the right choice every minute of the day.
P.S. The title of this post came from one of my favorite videos of David Goggins.
2021 Book List
This was another fun year of reading. For more of an introduction and an explanation about how I’m not posting these lists to be a d-bag, please see the introduction to last year’s list. The last four months of this year really ended up being dominated by Stephen King’s Dark Tower series. I’m on the last book now and am glad I made the commitment to read this anthology.
Happy reading!
“Riders of the Purple Sage” by Zane Grey - AoM - I hate to say it, but this was one of the most boring books I have ever read. Grey is super descriptive of the physical setting of what’s happening and of character feelings. If you’re into that sort of thing, this might be for you.
“The Price of Panic” by Jay Richards, William Briggs, and Douglas Axe - Kindle - Very sane, rational, and fact-based look at the real cost of government actions and mandates during COVID. This should be required reading for everyone. The charts and graphs were kind of hard to see on Kindle, but the authors were very descriptive and the reader could get the idea without too much trouble.
“No Country for Old Men” by Cormac McCarthy - AoM - I remember seeing this movie a very long time ago and not really liking it, but this book was really good. It’s definitely written in kind of a different style, but it had me hooked.
“Educated” by Tara Westover - Kindle - This is a great memoir about a woman who grew up in some pretty unusual and tough circumstances (that’s a huge understatement) but turned out to be a huge success. Highly recommend.
“Say Nothing” by Patrick Radden Keefe - Kindle - Great book about The Troubles in Northern Ireland. Would definitely recommend if you’re interested in that bit of history.
“If You Tell” by Gregg Olsen - Kindle - This is a really horrifying true story about an abusive mother and the havoc she wreaked on her three daughters and pretty much everyone else in her life. It was a real page-turner, but some of the content definitely turned my stomach a bit.
“Nomadland” by Jessica Bruder - Kindle - This is a really interesting book about people who have broken out of the standard American house/mortgage prison and taken to living in RVs, campers, vans, and other vehicles. I really enjoyed reading about this kind of life, but it made me regret not giving it a chance back in 2008 when I was contemplating living in my 2000 Chevy Blazer out in Arizona.
“Bad Karma” by Paul Wilson - Kindle - Hilarious, and sometimes touching, book about three friends going on a surfing trip to Southern Mexico. All hell breaks loose to say the least.
“East of Eden” by John Steinbeck - This book is a classic, which doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good. To me, it was just okay. There were some interesting and compelling characters, but the book took me forever to finish which tells me I wasn’t super engaged with the storyline.
“All Expenses Paid” by John Launer - Kindle - This was an amazing book about the everyday life of a Grunt in Vietnam. Mr. Launer was drafted into the Army for a year-long tour. His description of life for an infantryman in the war sounds incredibly miserable, stressful, psychologically damaging, and a whole bunch of other terrible things. Highly recommend.
“The Time It Never Rained” by Elmer Kelton - AoM - This was an amazing book. Charlie Flagg is now one of my favorite literary characters ever. Charlie is a man trying to stick to his principles in a changing world that he no longer recognizes. His character is very human and flawed in many ways. Highly recommend.
“The Greatest Gambling Story Ever Told” by Mark Paul - Kindle - Super entertaining book about two friends who love horse racing and place a bet on Winning Colors, a powerful filly that they hope can win the 1988 Kentucky Derby. This book gives some great insights into the world of horse racing and gambling while also just being fun and easy to read. Check it out.
“Streets of Laredo” by Larry McMurtry - Outstanding sequel to “Lonesome Dove,” the greatest western of all time. This book is set in the years after Lonesome Dove, and McMurtry further expands on existing characters and introduces some great new ones. Highly recommend.
“Dead Man’s Walk” by Larry McMurtry - Great book from the Lonesome Dove series. This book was written third but has the setting as the first book in the four-book series. There were some excellent characters in this book aside from Gus and Call.
“The Madness of Crowds” by Douglas Murray - Kindle - Great book covering some uncomfortable subject matter. Also check out Douglas Murray’s book, “The Strange Death of Europe.” Both are great reads.
“Animal Farm” by George Orwell - Kind of a scary book for anyone who is at all paying attention to what is happening in our society/country. Highly recommend.
“The Fact of a Body” by Alexandria Marzano-Lesnevich - The cover of this book accurately states that it’s a murder and a memoir. Definitely not the typical true crime book, but it kept me interested and was worth the time.
“The Night the Fitz Went Down” by Hugh E. Bishop - This was an amazing book about the Edmund Fitzgerald and Captain Dudley J. Paquette, a man who was commanding his own iron ore boat on November 10, 1975. Great insights into not only the wreck, but the life and career of a Great Lakes sailor. Highly recommend.
“The Way of Men” by Jack Donovan - Excellent book that made me think even more about how I just don’t fit in in today’s society. I feel like I’m missing the boat in a lot of ways.
“The Brave Cowboy” by Edward Abbey - AoM - Kindle - Not the greatest book I’ve ever read, but I couldn’t help but identify with the main character, a young man with a bit of an old soul who doesn’t like the direction of the world he’s living in.
“No Time Like The Future” by Michael J. Fox - My sister got me this book for my birthday and it was pretty good. The timing of when I read it was kind of funny, because reading about Fox’s struggles with Parkinson’s put my own whining about a head cold and ringworm spot into perspective.
“True Grit” by Charles Portis - AoM - The True Grit movie remake with Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon is one of my favorites, so it’s not surprising that I absolutely loved this book. The movie really stayed close to the book, even matching much of the dialogue exactly. Fantastic read.
“Grit” by Angela Duckworth - This book was really good, much better than I thought it would be. The author makes her point about the importance of grit by using a ton of different examples of people from all walks of life.
“The Institute” by Stephen King - I bought this book at the Minneapolis airport on my trip from Michigan back to Philly. My Kindle book was boring me to death (see #25) but this book pulled me in right away and was an excellent read. My only complaints are the forced references to Trump throughout the book and guns such as AR-15s and .45 handguns being referred to as “automatic.” A good part of the book takes place in rural South Carolina which is a deep red part of the country, yet many of the characters make it a point to call Trump a dummy or make sure the reader knows they don’t like Trump. I don’t care if they like Trump or not, but the dialogue felt forced and King’s attempt to make sure he got these digs in distracted from the story. The gun references were just factually incorrect. King grew up in Maine and these are very easy topics to research, so I have to believe he knowingly put these falsehoods in on purpose. Either way, I love Stephen King’s books and the guy has entertained me for countless hours. I have five more of his books on my shelf right now and I can’t wait to get started on them.
“The Searchers” by Alan LeMay - AoM - Kindle - Thank God this book is over. It wasn’t a terrible book, but it was so slow and got to be very repetitive. Possibly the longest 309 page book I have ever read.
“Empire of the Summer Moon” by S.C. Gwynne - Phenomenal book about Comanches and the government’s treatment of Native Americans in the 19th century. Highly recommend.
“Bloodline” by Jess Lourey - Kindle - This was a free Prime book and it was an unexpectedly amazing piece of fiction. It almost had a slow Stephen King-type buildup until the reader was really let in on what was going on. Highly recommend if you like books with kind of an eerie feeling throughout.
“Insomnia” by Stephen King - This book finished strong, but it was probably not in my top five Stephen King books. It did hold my attention well enough to want to finish it though. It didn’t have any of the slow building creepiness that I love in many King novels. It was more just kind of like a prolonged acid trip.
“Strong Enough” by Mark Rippetoe - Kindle - I’ve read this book several times and it’s always entertaining. As a longtime follower of Rippetoe and Starting Strength, it’s interesting to read some of his older stuff and see how his opinions have changed on certain things over the years.
“Breathe” by Rickson Gracie - My brother-in-law got me this book and I absolutely loved it. It was a very enjoyable read that gave lots of background and history on jiu-jitsu and what eventually became mixed martial arts.
“I Heard You Paint Houses” by Charles Brandt - Kindle - I could not put this book down. Netflix’s “The Irishman” is based on this book, but the book has so much great detail about some stuff that I don’t believe is addressed in the movie. Highly recommend if you like true crime, mob stories, and/or anything having to do with the Jimmy Hoffa mystery.
“Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl - I actually got this book out of this little neighborhood library book box. It was good, but for me it wasn’t life-changing. Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood to read it. That or I’ve heard the themes before but from people that I can more closely identify.
“The Gunslinger (Dark Tower I)” by Stephen King - This is the first of eight books in The Dark Tower series. This book was more fantasy than what I typically read, but it was good and I’m determined to make it through the whole series.
“The Drawing of the Three (Dark Tower II)” by Stephen King - I enjoyed this book considerably more than the first book in the Dark Tower Series. It revealed more of what was going on and I just felt like I “got it” more. Looking forward to what’s next.
“The Waste Lands (Dark Tower III)” by Stephen King - It took me forever to read this book, but it was a good one. The picture of what’s going on in this series is becoming clearer.
“The Worst Hard Time” by Timothy Egan - Kindle - This was a really good book about the nightmares of living in the Dust Bowl in the 1930s. Since I’ve been prioritizing the Dark Tower books, it took me forever to finish Egan’s book and I was ready for it to be over.
“Wizard and Glass (Dark Tower IV)” by Stephen King - This was a great book. Most of it was the story’s main character telling a story, and it really pulled me in.
“The Wind Through the Keyhole (A Dark Tower Novel)” by Stephen King - This was a pretty good book with an interesting story. The book is between books 4 and 5 of the series, and King refers to it as Book 4.5 in the introduction. Looking forward to getting on to the next one.
“Ruby Ridge” by Jess Walter - Kindle - Phenomenally researched and well-written book. This was one of those nonfiction books that grabbed hold of me and wouldn’t let go for 500 pages. Highly recommend.
“Unguarded” by Scottie Pippen with Michael Arkush - Kindle - I’m a sucker for books about ‘90s NBA, even if the book is by/about a player I despised as a kid. Pippen comes off like a huge crybaby in this book, but I can understand his point of view on certain things. It had to be frustrating always being in Jordan’s shadow and constantly seeing people worshiping Jordan. I’d recommend this book to basketball fans.
“Wolves of the Calla (Dark Tower V)” by Stephen King - Really great book in the Dark Tower series. I’m excited to see where this goes in the last two books.